The emotional stages of getting a manicure
With dizzying highs, and momentarily horrifying lows, getting your nails done is an emotional rollercoaster, to say the least…
- You enter the nail salon. Wow, that acetone scent hits you like a ton of bricks every time. Seriously, these manicurists deserve a medal.
- You stare awkwardly at the girls (and the odd boy or two), but they’re all busy doing their thing.
- One of them finally notices you and you’re told to choose a colour. Yay!
- Ahh, why didn’t you think this through?! Ok, you’ll go for a fun shade. Electric blue looks trendy. You saw Olivia Wilde rocking it last week. But will it match your winter wardrobe? Maybe you should just go with a neutral colour. Pale pink never goes out of style…no. Get the blue. #YOLO.
- There’s a wait. So you check Facebook. And Instagram. Then Facebook again. You’re so taking a nelfie as soon as you get out of here.
- They’re ready for you! But you’re suddenly filled with anxiety about your colour choice. You reluctantly take a seat as you strain to look back at the tiny bottles.
- You ask the manicurist to paint just one nail with your polish. It looks pretty amazing, but who knows how it’ll look once EVERY nail is painted. *Gulps.* “Yep, it’s perfect!”
- She asks you what shape you want your nails. You say, “square with rounded edges”. She nods and starts filing away with gusto.
- She’s basically beating up your nails with the filer. Is it supposed to be this violent?
- But once she’s finished buffing them, they look sooo strong and healthy. And shiny. How did she do that?! Amazing.
- Time for the cuticles. Getting them pushed back is strangely satisfying, but you’ll pass on the scissors. When did snipping bits of skin become acceptable?
- It feels like an eternity since you last looked at your phone. You try to sneak a look at it using your left hand while she’s working on your right. But now she’s ready for your left. Let the withdrawals begin…
- Now for your favourite part: the hand massage. You wish it could go on forever, but you’ve already been there for half an hour. Perhaps we could step up the pace?
- Your nails look so much better already! You grin happily at your manicurist. She couldn’t care less. She’s in the zone.
- She’s starting to paint. The bottom coat goes on in about two seconds. #skillz
- Time for the colour. The first layer looks a little wonky, but you tell yourself to be patient. Good things take time.
- The second layer’s on and WOW – that blue is really blue!
- You throw you hands in front of the fan to dry before she applies the topcoat. Your pinkie finger bumps the metal. Your heart stops…
- … It’s ok. The nail’s fine. Phew.
- No mani is complete without a topcoat. You thought your nails looked shiny before, but get a load of them now! They’re so glossy you can practically see your reflection!
- You go to tell the manicurist that she did a fantastic job, but she’s already at the other end of the salon, helping the next customer. Ah well, you tried.
- Your nails are still wet so you can’t leave your chair. But you can finally look at your phone (yay!). Careful now...
- Five minutes have passed. You’re so ready to go, but no, you did not fork out $30 to smudge these bad boys at the end. You vow to wait ten more minutes.
- The salon owner wants you to pay, but you can’t risk messing your mani up when fishing the cash from your wallet, so she does it for you. You feel kind of ridiculous but tell yourself she’s had to do this a million times before.
- One more hurdle: the door. Can you make it through without touching it?
- Nailed it (pun intended)! You start to sashay down the street, flaunting your digits – subtly, of course.
- You tuck a wayward strand of hair behind your ear, and your thumbnail goes goopy. Dammit.
- Oh well, you still look like a total superstar! *Continues sashaying*
Which of these steps speaks to you the most? Do you get your nails done in-salon, or do you prefer to DIY?